Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
