We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
