Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
