Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
