so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
