he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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