Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
