She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
