this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
