guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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