honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
