I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
