Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
