SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
