what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
