That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
