I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
