I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
