I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
