i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
