hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
