My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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