Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
