We're facebook friends in real life
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
