So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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