Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
