i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
