My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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