so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
