I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
