imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
