My girlfriend figured out who you are.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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