I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
