Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
