Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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