Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
