I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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