do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
