HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
