I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
