I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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