i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So many bounce houses so little time
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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