Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
