I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
