i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
