How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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