i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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