Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize
