Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
