my phone needs a breathalizer
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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