he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
