his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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