does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
