Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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