You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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